Greater Manchester police have recorded a diary of nightshifts this week as they respond to an increase in burglaries in Sale.
Although written in a light-hearted way, the log includes some incidents which were potentially very serious, including an attempt to ram a police vehicle at high speed.
There is also a curious tale about a rat catcher on his way to a damsel in distress.
While the majority of comments from members of the public on the GMP Trafford South Facebook were positive some people were unhappy that their calls for help after a burglary were not responded to, while other were critical of the writing.
Here is the log in full. Let us know your thoughts:
“Over recent weeks we have seen an uplift in burglary of dwellings across Sale. Majority being overnight. Additionally we’ve had several reports of prowlers going up and down driveways trying car doors. The bulk of these offences appears to be around roads near/off Broad & Northenden Road.
“In efforts to combat these criminals, B and C Group night patrols have focussed any down time to the impacted areas. This has resulted in several pro-active stops & arrests.
“09/4/18 and early hours 10/04/18 we received 2 separate reports of prowlers around Brooklands Road. Our patrols arrived within minutes to both incidents but no persons were located.
“10/04/18 several Metrolink Machines were broken into across the South of Greater Manchester, including stations in Trafford. One of our patrols attempted to stop a Suspicious White Golf, but unfortunately it gave us the slip!
“Approximately 2300 hours 10/04/18 Police received reports of 2 Suspicious males on board a VW Polo near to Wythenshawe Road, Sale. We believe we have identified the vehicle linked and it is now our watchlist!
“0220 hours 11/04/18 patrols stopped a male who was loitering around Sale/Brooklands. On stop account he stated he was on his way to help a lady friend who had a rat in her kitchen and she didn’t know what to do! And no he didn’t have any red red wine him!
“Around 20 minutes later once his pest duties were completed, he was sighted again, this time in company with another male. Both have a history for Theft and related offences. Both were subject to a stop and sent packing! An intelligence report has been submitted for benefit of others officers and our partners.
“At 0345 we sighted a young couple on board a van who appeared in a rush! When police attempted to stop the vehicle, the driver didn’t fancy ending his romantic night drive and decided he would fail to stop. He then drove head on at our officers, causing them to swerve to avoid a head on collision. The pursuit continued & after reaching speeds of 80 MPH, the driver then decided to play dirty and go off road across a muddy field tearing up the grass in the process.
“Unfortunately for him a barrier blocked his exit point and the pair took off on foot quickly. So quick they left some personal belongings behind for us to identify them. Minutes later the young couple were found hiding near to Timperley village.
“As the van was on false plates the couple were provided accommodation for the night! Unfortunately for them two we operate a single occupant room policy! We even offered our valet parking service and parked the vehicle in our pound!
“The crime remains under investigation and we will be submitting a file to Crown Prosecution Service in coming days.
“We will be out again tonight! If you see something you feel is suspicious please report it! Please also take this opportunity to check your home and vehicle security.
“Keep doors and windows locked! Thieves love unlocked properties/cars!
“Have a wonderful night an stay safe!”